A toast

To Pauline—a light in the dark.

I’ve talked about Pauline in this journal before. She died last autumn. Today would have been her 39th birthday. I’ve raised a toast to her many times throughout the past year and a bit. But none more so than on her would-be birthday.

I think of her in moments of exuberance and despair, imagining what her advice might be - particularly with the latter.

Pauline was a foodie and she was always happy to try whatever I had baked, even when something had turned out disastrously and resembled raw slop. She loved this time of year and she knew how to celebrate more heartily than anyone I know. Pauline was a bringer of light, which seems appropriate given that she was born at the darkest time of the year.

Saffron buns and mulled wine. For her.